I feel that it is cruel to say to someone that their beloved who has passed on is "in a better place." What is that supposed to mean anyway? In my case, regarding my son being in a better place, does that mean living with us was a horrible thing and thus death is better option than to continue living with us?
While I think people who say "He's in a better place" mean well, it really doesn't help and I feel it is an insult. One of our customers said that he's in a better place and I challenged her on this point. I told her that no one on earth really knows for sure about this. She then retorted saying she had a near death experience and she "knows" as do others. Well isn't that just great... just because she had a near death experience, thus it applies to everyone. I want to know what happens in the long run - to which she could not answer.
Another horrible thing to say, in my opinion, is "It was part of God's plan." So if that is the case, then it must be part of God's plan that my wife and I suffer tremendously. It must be part of God's plan to take a wonderful human being away from us when there are horrible bad people living still that cause enormous suffering for others.
It is not true that everyone goes to a better place as there are near death experiences where some have a horrible experience, although it is not as widely reported.
Although some think they know what will happen when they die, that does not mean everyone will experience what they have. There must be a reason we do not know what will happen when we die. While various religions and philosophies have their view on what happens when death occurs, who really knows? Having been in a cult for several years, I don't automatically believe anything someone says just because they believe it. I mean, a few hundred years ago, it was a strongly held belief in Christian circles that the universe revolved around the earth.... which we know is not the case today.
What happens when we die? No on really knows for certain. Perhaps the afterlife experience is different for each person or perhaps it's the same...
If you encounter someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, please refrain from saying "They're in a better place" or "It was God's plan..." It really doesn't help the bereaved.
While I think people who say "He's in a better place" mean well, it really doesn't help and I feel it is an insult. One of our customers said that he's in a better place and I challenged her on this point. I told her that no one on earth really knows for sure about this. She then retorted saying she had a near death experience and she "knows" as do others. Well isn't that just great... just because she had a near death experience, thus it applies to everyone. I want to know what happens in the long run - to which she could not answer.
Another horrible thing to say, in my opinion, is "It was part of God's plan." So if that is the case, then it must be part of God's plan that my wife and I suffer tremendously. It must be part of God's plan to take a wonderful human being away from us when there are horrible bad people living still that cause enormous suffering for others.
It is not true that everyone goes to a better place as there are near death experiences where some have a horrible experience, although it is not as widely reported.
Although some think they know what will happen when they die, that does not mean everyone will experience what they have. There must be a reason we do not know what will happen when we die. While various religions and philosophies have their view on what happens when death occurs, who really knows? Having been in a cult for several years, I don't automatically believe anything someone says just because they believe it. I mean, a few hundred years ago, it was a strongly held belief in Christian circles that the universe revolved around the earth.... which we know is not the case today.
What happens when we die? No on really knows for certain. Perhaps the afterlife experience is different for each person or perhaps it's the same...
If you encounter someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, please refrain from saying "They're in a better place" or "It was God's plan..." It really doesn't help the bereaved.
2 comments:
People who mean well just feel a need to talk in these situations, where really, you and your wife are the ones who need to be talking.
A good friend whose husband died a couple of years ago was just telling me how important being able to sit and tell various friends about what happened and how she felt after her husband died had been to her recovery.
There are just not enough good listeners in the world are there Zoe?
I think you are right about the lack of listeners and thankfully I can blog and blurt out my ramblings and who ever wants to listen, can.
We had one lady come and ramble to us for about 15 minutes about her loss and didn't really seem too concerned about ours, though I think in her mind, she thought she was expressing concern.
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